I was a little apprehensive about sharing the previous blog, exposing too much of myself, perhaps? However, after posting my writing, I was immediately aware that my security issues stemmed from the very root of my being, that foundational structure that provides the stability and nurturing to allow us to grow courageously to new heights. In digging into those roots, I found they were tightly grasping a huge, gray boulder, a “foundation” utterly cold and unresponsive to my personal needs.
That structure formed in my very distant past when I was unable to comprehend the dynamics of people and situations around me. I’ve carried it and compensated for it for decades! Now that I see it, I can understand the factors that are creating my present fears about a lack of security if I let go of the boulder of my present regular-paycheck job, which, to be honest, no longer fulfills me or allows me to grow as it once did.
Two thoughts emerged when I came to this realization:
(1) If I remove the boulder, there is fertile soil beneath! I have experienced so much and demonstrated I can, when necessary, find and work with sufficient soil or other resources to ensure my survival.
(2) The boulder brought to mind a high, stone wall separating my past and future. I can clearly see my past but not the future; however, I have made it to this wall. It’s a cold, gray indicator that transition is necessary.
Furthermore, once I get past the wall and am beholding only to myself, I can create a future of my own making. Who knows how satisfying and rewarding my future can be if I make it my own?
The "moral" of this blog is: “Don’t shy away from your feelings even if they are a little uncomfortable.” Dig around in them and see what they have to tell you; there is treasure to be found.
I would love to face your transitions with you and coach you over walls that seem insurmountable. Contact me at swellsLTC@gmail.com and we’ll get started. You are stronger and more resourceful than you know.